I always felt that if I was closer to Papatūānuku, I could heal.
I felt that if I walked barefoot on her, longer than I wore shoes on her, I would heal.
I've spent years healing myself in different degrees. I've been to many a healer hoping to be healed. It still wasn't enough. I had lost a big piece of me that somehow seemed too far away to find. I felt heavy with roles and responsibilities that the weight had become too heavy and my body was beginning to hurt, especially my feet. Still, I couldn't shake finding this missing piece. The piece that loved magic, adventure, excitement and freedom.
My feet hurt and I felt that they were disconnected from my body. They did not want to feel Paptūānauku, they did not want to connect with this earthly world. Being grounded was not something I enjoyed because it meant feeling.
I believed that if I was always in nature I could heal. I would naturally vibrate to the frequency of Papatūānuku through entrainment and heal. I would become like her. This formed the kaupapa of my waka. I am always outdoors to watch the ebb and flo of nature. My feet no longer hurt the way they once did because I no longer wear shoes as much as I once did. I would probably wear shoes for 5 hours a week. The rest of the time I am walking barefoot to feel the bosom of Papatūānuku. The soles of my feel have hardened and now I don't feel the prickles or gravel. Once upon a time I would have spent lots of time trying to soften my feet but soft feet wouldn't endure what I walk on now.
I am provided with lots of inspiration and I am constantly creating. I make rongoā in my waka using the rākau around me. I write. I tune in to the elements and natural resources and feel wonderfully free. I can feel myself becoming like the wind, running wildly free. I can feel myself still like a rākau. I can feel myself becoming a force like the ocean. I can feel myself grounded like the earth. I am her and she is me.
I show people what rongoā they have on their property. I make rongoā and always have my mirimiri (massage) table out. Trade, exchange and koha is primarily how I try to sustain myself however, the currency of money is still necessary to move about the country and buy essentials.
It's one thing to want nature to heal but we still have to work on the parts of ourselves that need healing. Nature provides the platform for whatever we want to heal in ourselves. When we connect with her and are mindful of her beauty and magic around us our mind slows down and our heart starts to beat to her rhythm.
That's the thing about life. We have a choice. We can choose to do whatever we want. We can heal if we choose to. We can allow nature to help us if we choose to. It's our choice. But at some point we have to move from the space of healing to the space of being fully healed so we can create. God wants us to create and be all that we can be. He sees through our eyes and yearns for us to see the beauty of his creation.
An Update of this Post
Ngā mihinui
Thank you for reading this post.
It has been about 5 years since I wrote this. I no longer have this waka but I do have a smaller campervan for weekend trips and spiritual research in the ngahere.
I still work on strengthening my feet and connecting them to Papatūānuku.
It's a journey that I love and I am constantly learning about myself.
Arohanui
Joanne xx
Comments